Who's Got Spirit? SENIOR ENTRANCE!

Kafka and Conformity Essay Feedback

COMPOSITE COMMENTS

I love that you tried to put Darwin and Kafka together!

When you ask your provocative question about the marriage rate dropping, I really hear your voice behind the text and I can see you questioning the system of marriage conformity. This makes this essay extra special, not just an exercise, but a genuine exploration and questioning.

You put Kafka and Atwood together in a way so surprising and interesting and ultimately enlightening for us in examining men's brainwashed desire to rescue and provide for a weaker woman.

You use Darwin in innovative, creative ways that no one has. Just when the theory of evolution seems like it won't fit, you make it fit.

I like your insight that two students might look the same on the outside but be doing the same thing for different reasons, one for conformity, the other for himself.

I like the casual, personal voice you use when you talk about yourself.

The parallels between Kafka, the bible, and high school are breathtakingly interesting and clever and original.

Too much nonconformity would lead to chaos. But if you just sit in class and take everything as truth you'll be a bug.

Every culture leads its members to conform to it to become new members. This idea is so interesting and convincing and insightful.

Your clever and ironic voice are everywhere evident, which gives your essay punch and liveliness and makes the reader aware of the person behind the essay.

When you really know what you're saying and mean it, your sentence writing is easy to follow and makes sense and even moves the reader.

The personal parts of the essay are honest and interesting. But they flow together seamlessly with the other parts about Kafka.

Your exploration of the id as both dangerous and a source of creativity and nonconformity is wonderful and original. Framing conformity at each extreme with Kurtz and Gregor is perfect.

To interview someone from Mao's era is extraordinary, almost like climbing in a time machine.

You sustained a lengthy analysis of conformity in Kafka, the kind of sustained reasoning I hadn't seen enough of before and hope to see more of in the future.

You completely understand Darwin's theory and then use it in very interesting and metaphorical ways to think about how we conform. If there were no differences, where would we be? How would we survive?

Your use of the graphic novel is quite interesting and adds something no other essay seems to have.

BIGGEST PROBLEMS IN GRAMMER AND USAGE
--PROOFREADING: Do it! Do it twice. Have somebody else look for errors as well.
--Missing words: 'the' 'a'  are missing (proofread again, read aloud, show it to someone)
--HOMONYMS: their/there/they're  to/too/two cite/sight (spellcheck won't catch these)
--TITLES: Don't underline yours. Italicize or underline novels.
--MLA: Please don't forget headers and works cited pages next year.
--Overgeneralizations: Don't conclude with 'it all depends' or 'find a balance between conforming and not conforming.' (Don't end your essay on a generality: say something.)
--'s errors: Not Kafkas message, Kafka's message. (Learn to spot this.)
--semicolon where a comma should be (not interchangable)
--"Put commas and periods INSIDE quoations marks." (like this, not this)".
--COMMA SPLICE: Don't join two sentences with a comma, it's not correct.
  (learn these before next year; possible quiz after spring break)

Multimedia 'Essay' on Camus (due April 22)

Essay on Albert Camus The Stranger

            Due date: Friday, April 22 by midnight to Turnitin.com

Requirements for the Essay:
At least 2 ½ pages, double-spaced, carefully edited, mostly error-free, no fragments, typos, etc.
Proper MLA parenthetical documentation, header, first-page info (upper-left corner), and proper works cited page with at least two references (one can be a personal interview).

Uploaded with works cited page to Turnitin.com by midnight on date due

Include one other work that we have studied this year (may be a poem) or a personal interview

Works Cited should include Camus and any other works consulted

Do NOT go on the internet to search for ideas about Camus (this risks unintentional plagiarism)

Optional: You may include an analysis of how your point or topic affects you and those in your position

A narrow topic of your own choosing (see lists below)

A clear, debatable point or claim (not ‘each person must decide to what level they want to conform’)

Your own clear thinking and analysis

Essay prompt:

Consider Camus’s novel, The Stranger, and what you get from it about any of the following:

personality, detachment, choice, internalized thinking (the trivial thoughts and sensations that constantly run through our heads), and being an outsider from society

Write an essay in which you explore any of these ideas, or the theme of alienation and being an outsider

You must include one other work besides The Stranger

Relate your analysis of being an outsider (or whatever you decide to focus on) to your own generation.

Find just one event, character, or passage from Camus and use it to make a connection to your own world and through it explore in great detail one aspect or idea: Marie’s love, the prison, the funeral, the beach scene, the trial, the dog, Arabs and the French, Meursault’s reporting and writing style, etc.

               ALTERNATE MULTIMEDIA ‘ESSAY’

Or you can choose to create a multi-media response to this assignment. Here is what is required:

A written one-page portion explaining your main point and also how you used different media to express that point. (due Fri. April 22. The presentation will be due the following week during class on Monday, April 25)

Choose from among various media available to you, combining them:

a.       Video or imovie

b.      Videoblog

c.       PowerPoint

d.      Survey (monkey survey, etc.)

e.       Chatzy or other chatroom forum hosted and moderated by you

f.       Audio or typed interviews with members of the larger community

g.      Musical composition (in addition to other media)

h.      Artistic composition (in addition to other media)

i.        A digital literary zine (see http://fablogs.org/space/2010/04/14/hello-world/#comments )

j.        More than just a blog, but some kind of project involving blogs

k.      Animoto.com

l.         Other media

Focus narrowly on one topic of your choosing, incorporating The Stranger in at least one paragraph or part.

a.       Detachment and alienation: Being a stranger to our world or to ourselves

b.      Individual choice vs. passive compliance

c.       Internal reactions to events vs. individuals controlling events

d.      Detaching from high school and home to go attach to college and peers

e.       Other topics that are both personal but can be related to The Stranger

WARNING: Do not risk plagiarism. Do not click through the internet looking for inspiration. Those same ideas will show up in your essay without acknowledgement, and that is plagiarism. In high school, consequences can involve suspension for reasons of academic dishonesty, which must be reported to the colleges you have applied to. In college (ask about recent examples at USC), the academic integrity panel may ask a student to unenroll for one year before continuing classes. If you are in a jam because of time or because you can’t come up with ideas, it is always better to turn in your own work, even if it is lower quality, than to borrow others’ words or ideas. You can go to your college writing center for assistance or go to the professor or T.A. directly and ask for help. Avoid the temptation to borrow and then present the ideas as your own. At the very least, you should acknowledge all you have consulted, cite all of it in parenthetical citation and in the works cited page, even if the references are to Wikipedia or Sparks Notes; you can’t be expelled for being honest.

Finding reliable quotes on the internet?

"The problem with quotes on the Internet is that one has no way of knowing if they are truly authentic or not." -- Abraham Lincoln 

Let's try twitter

Let's try using Twitter in the classroom: @drforman

Respond to Student Observations

Respond to the following student reactions to The Stranger.

1. Meursault  is very difficult to pin down. I really wish M. Meursault would just reveal himself. I find his character so baffling that I’m having a hard time decoding the main themes of the book—he has no personal convictions of his own.
2. Meursault is frustratingly incoherent. The meaning of the book has to be that it’s as absurd to have a purpose in life as it is for purposelessness to be the purpose.
3. Going on in life without a purpose seems to me pointless, but the others in my group think it’s okay!
4. Meursault is a sponge who is open to his surroundings. He is acutely aware of his surroundings, yet is completely outside of them. Meursault finds peace of mind in this neutral state.
5. Instinct and emotions are different, and Meursault has taught himself to live on instincts.
6. Camus is encouraging us all to find our own distinct meaning in life, whatever that may be, because only that discovery and subsequent embrace can bring you consummation and happiness.  I believe Camus intentionally made Meursault a strange and almost repugnant character so that the reader could uncover his own true self through the fundamental disagreement of character that the reader feels with Meursault.

Keep reading The Stranger

Keep reading The Stranger:
--p.39 by Monday, p.71 by Thursday March 24 (or at least by the end of spring break)
--Two creative blogs/week. Two comments on blogs/week
Questions to ponder and discuss:
--DOG: Analyze the complicated love/hate relationship between Salamano and his dog. (Do humans have such relationships? Anyone you know?)
--RAYMOND: What makes Raymond tick? Why does Meursault befriend him? Why isn't he outraged? Is he morally neutral?
--MARIE: When Marie asks Meursault "Do you love me?" how does he respond and how do you interpret his response? Too honest? Unaware of others' feelings? What should a guy say? Is a white lie permissible in this case? With what consequences? How wold you recommend a man phrase his answer?

Blog about any of these questions for your creative blog

CHATROOM IN GOOGLE DOCS ABOUT MARGE PIERCY POEMS

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zdv1QzIPuU6EfRUNWqOd1ay9FPtooqbKWaMHP1SW1zI/edit?hl=en&authkey=CPfrvYgC#


CLICK THIS LINK.
NO DELETING
NO INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS
Comment on Marge Piercy Poems
Also, keep commenting on others' blogs: they are worth reading!

Meet here at Googledocs

http://docs.google.com/demo/edit?id=scABqm3sJECYVpUHID1sgIFZ_&dt=document#document

Try clickiing here and let's meet in google docs to start a discussion online.

You can write about Marge Piercy poems here or conformity.

Chatroom during Class: The Stranger and Marge Piercy' Barbie Doll

Click below to enter the chatroom about Marge Piercy and Camus's The Stranger.
http://www.chatzy.com/643140134796

Click here to put post-it notes on the corkboard about Marge Piercy and The Stranger.
bit.ly/gurNQk

Pick a word or phrase from Piercy and The Stranger that communicates something more than just the word. Then explain it.

Barbie Doll

          Marge Piercy

            This girlchild was born as usual
            and presented dolls that did pee-pee
            and miniature GE stoves and irons
            and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
            Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:         5
            You have a great big nose and fat legs.

            She was healthy, tested intelligent,
            possessed strong arms and back,
            abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
            She went to and fro apologizing.                                10
            Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

            She was advised to play coy,
            exhorted to come on hearty,
            exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
            Her good nature wore out                                           15
            like a fan belt.
            So she cut off her nose and her legs
            and offered them up.

            In the casket displayed on satin she lay
            with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,               20
            a turned-up putty nose,
            dressed in a pink and white nightie.
            Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
            Consummation at last.

            To every woman a happy ending.                               25

    What’s That Smell in the Kitchen? 

       (Marge Piercy)

All over America women are burning dinners.

It’s lambchops in Peoria; it’s haddock

in Providence; it’s steak in Chicago;

tofu delight in Big Sur; red

rice and beans in Dallas.                               5

All over America women are burning

food they’re supposed to bring with calico

smile on platters glittering like wax.

Anger sputters in her brainpan, confined

but spewing out missiles of hot fat.               10

Carbonized despair presses like a clinker

from a barbecue against the back of her eyes.

If she want to grill anything, it’s

her husband spitted over a slow fire.

If she wants to serve him anything                 15

it’s a dead rat with a bomb in its belly

ticking like the heart of an insomniac.

Her life is cooked and digested,

nothing but leftovers in tupperware.

Look, she says, once I was roast duck                   20

on your platter with parsley but now I am Spam.

Burning dinner is not incompetence but war. 

Creative Blogging (2 per week)

Creative Blogging

·         Post two creative blog posts per week, one early in the week, one at the end of the week.

·         The only requirements:

o   Mention and make a connection with any one of the works or poems we’ve read (or any other work you’ve read in past years or on your own).

o   Write clear, decent, coherent sentences and paragraphs

o   Read and comment on two other students’ blogs

·         Write about college, cars, food, restaurants, music, bands, shopping, movies, whatever you like

·         Connect your topic to any of the following:

o   Themes we’ve explored: conformity, choice, power, Freud, etc.

o   Works we’ve read: Hurston, Austen, Shakespeare, Conrad, Kafka, Camus, Wilde

o   Nonfiction we’ve read: Genesis, Darwin, Freud, Karl, etc.

o   Poems we’ve read: in the college reader or last semester’s, or in the textbook

·         You may post pictures or add a video blog or music or add other technology

The Stranger by Albert Camus

The Stranger Albert Camus 1946 translated from French, set in French Algeria

Annotate key lines and words.

Translator’s note.

·         “Short, precise sentences (v)

·         “Character ostensibly without consciousness (v)

·         “Capture what he said and how he said it, not what he meant.” (v)

“Maman died today.”  (not “Mother”)

Internal representations of motivation: don’t oversimplify, (Gregor, Marlow, Hamlet, Elizabeth)

Examine the act of reading:

1.       How fast do you read?

2.       How hard is it for you to keep your attention focused?

3.       How long does it take for you to start to get drawn in to the story?

4.         Reading next year? With text messaging on?

Reading schedule for Albert Camus’s The Stranger

by  Thu. Mar. 17         read to p. 18 and Translator’s note

by Fri. Mar. 18                        read to p. 33

by Mon. Mar. 21         read to p. 39

by Tue. March 22       read to p. 50

by Wed. March 23      read to p. 59 (end Part I)

by Thu. March 24       read to p. 71

   spring break

by Tue. April 12           read to p. 81

by Wed. April 13         read to p. 97

by Thu. April 14           read to p. 107

by Friday April 15        read to p. 115

by Mon. April 18          read to p. 123 (Finished!)

by Tue. April 19           Catch up and work on essay

by Wed. April 20         Work on Essay

by Thu. April 21           Work on Essay

by Fri. April 22             Camus ESSAY DUE!

Creative Blogging (2 per week)

Creative Blogging

·         Post two creative blog posts per week, one early in the week, one at the end of the week.

·         The only requirements:

o   mention and make a connection with one of the works or poems we’ve read (or any other work you’ve read in past years or on your own).

o   Write decent, coherent sentences and paragraphs

·         Write about cars, food, restaurants, music, bands, shopping, whatever you like

·         Connect your topic to any of the following:

o   Themes we’ve explored: conformity, choice, power, Freud, etc.

o   Works we’ve read: Hurston, Austen, Shakespeare, Conrad, Kafka, Camus, Wilde

o   Nonfiction we’ve read: Genesis, Darwin, Freud, Karl, etc.

o   Poems we’ve read: in the college reader or last semester’s, or in the textbook

4^th Quarter English

àMarch 14 to 18 M-F Poetry, Creative blogs, Begin reading The Stranger

·         Two creative blogs due this week

àMarch 21 to 24 M-Th Begin reading The Stranger

·         Two creative blogs due this week

March 28 to April 10 Spring Break

àApril 11 to 15 M-F Read The Stranger

·         Two creative blogs due this week

àApril 18 to 21 M-Th Finish Camus’s The Stranger, Essay writing

·         Two creative blogs due this week

 Friday April 22 Camus Essay due

àApril 25 to 29 M-F

·         debrief  The Stranger

·         Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest 

·         College Catalogues + Reading Triage + Leaderless Discussions

àMay 2 to 6 M-F (APs)

·         Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest 

·         College curriculum + AP + College Catalogues + Reading Triage + Leaderless

àMay 9 to 12 M-F (APs)

·         Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest 

·         College curriculum presentations + AP

·         Fri May 13 College Transition Workshop

May 16 Mon. Last Class meeting (senior final exams Tue/Wed May17/18)

Essay on Conformity

  Elements of Essay on Conformity and Kafka

At minimum, you should include the following:

Title

A clear, interesting point about conformity

Kafka quotes or examples

Header, Parenthetical citations, Works Cited

Structured essay

Upload by Sun. March 13

Optional:

Interview grandparent about conformity

Refer to another text: Freud, Darwin, Genesis, graphic novels, etc.

Sample intros:

·         Though people may not believe that their behavior reflects something they developed through conformity, others acknowledge the impact institutions have on a majority of behavioral conduct. 

·         Thus, finding the correct balance of individualism within a society is crucial to the overall well being of an individual, as only achieving the balance will allow an individual to live in peace and harmony.

·         Most importantly, however, is that conformity is everlasting; even when people believe they are independent of others and thinking with a creative, new prospective, they are in actuality not unconventional and are grouping themselves with all other individual thinkers. Thus, whether it be at school, home, or another institution, people are always unconsciously conforming to societal pressures.

·         As time progress', societies seem to be straying more and more away from conformity, and promoting individuality and nonconformity. Over time humans as a race have become more accepting of all the variation between us, which leads to a stronger pursuit of individualism and nonconformity, and has attached a negative connotation to conformity.

·         Conformity, whether good or bad, is a part of everyday life. There are two types of conformity: unconscious or conscious. Conforming without realizing that you are conforming is more dangerous because you believe that you are controlling your actions when, in reality, you are being influenced by another force. Being forced to do something does not mean that you are conforming; conformity happens when you do something unconsciously that follows a certain trend, or when you do something because you feel pressured. Kafka and Conrad both explore conformity in abstract ways, taking it to the extremes

·         In Metamorphosis as well as in Genesis, both stories explore the consequences and rewards of conformity, and come to the same decisive conclusion that conformity on the whole is more rewarding for individuals and society.

·         Not only does living in different areas and countries change peoples level of conformity but the culture that  each person grows up with plays a major factor also, whether it be in the country of origin or not. A child that grew up in Los Angeles would with out a doubt have different motives than a child that grew up in the middle east.

·         Conformity only takes a hold of those who give into it, as long as one is strong and fight off confinement he/she will never have to meet Gregor's demise.

·         Therefore, conformity provides refuge for those who seek to masque their insecurities and desire to equalize, but also is a mechanism which controls the herds effectively.

·         As a young adult, the choice one has to make is: be like everyone else so that one enjoys a structural lifestyle. Or be the rebel and go against the shackles of the status quo to express one’s uniqueness. Therefore, I choose not to conform because I want to achieve a grand transformation that goes against modern society’s parameters and that of my past generations’.

·         Though conformity is a necessary evil, it is still in fact an evil, and must be carefully dealt with. The irony of human evolution is that no matter how far we grow as a community, no matter how socially in tune we become with each other, that if we do not stand for our individual beliefs, then the diversity of mind's that once made us so great are lost in a sea of non-free thinking conformity

·         In two works; "Metamorphosis" by Kafka and "Power in the Classroom," they discuss the issue of conformity and how students automatically conform to the classroom's conformist mentality as well as conform by obeying the rules/principles of the school.

·        I don't believe this is the only system that exists to allow for success and the freedom of success. We educate youth on the entirety of book smarts and memorization in a environment that pushes them to act to the standard of "civilized" in the perception of today’s majority. Other options can be attained from a more lenient and free choice when young, to allow to the education of street smart standards.

·         Gregor in Kafka's Metamorphosis was unable to attain his own balance and his outright conformity lead to his ultimate demise. While Kurtz in Conrad's Heart of Darkness died trying to fulfill the desires of his id while abandoning society all together. Finding this balance is a life-long struggle and many may never  truly find it. The pressures of society may be too strong or an individual may get lost in the rapture of his own desires. But once this balance is attained, one can thrive as individual within society.

·         The more we conform, the more we lose our identities and our rights to love whomever we want. Even if we don't want to get married and start a family, society forces us to feel guilty for making that choice. Thanks to outside pressures such as family, religion, and society, marriage appears to no longer be a choice but an obligation one must fulfill in order to gain acceptance.

·         This idea is what Franz Kafka presents in "Metamorphosis." Gregor Samsa's family expects him to follow the Germanic stencil of a perfect son and human being, consequentially hurting his knowledge of how to balance a life of conformity and individuality. If one has a family that allows the perfect amounts of freedom and order, compliance is neither a negative nor a positive.

·         Although the social freedoms of modern society might make the pressure to conform seem like an insignificant consideration, an examination of the world around us reveals that it is still as important a driving force today as it has been throughout history.

Fourth Quarter Planning

2011 English IV Scheduling 4^th Quarter:

       poems, Leaderless Discussions, Creative blogging, Camus Essay April 24

Conformity/Kafka Essay due Sun Mar. 13

àMarch 14 to 18 M-F

Poetry, Creative blogs,

Video thread

àMarch 21 to 24 M-Th

begin The Stranger

March 28 to April 8 Spring Break

àApril 11 to 15 M-F

The Stranger

àApril 18 to 21 M-Th

The Stranger

Essay writing

 May 24 Camus Essay due

àApril 25 to 29 M-F

The Stranger  

College Catalogues + Reading Triage + Leaderless

àMay 2 to 6 M-F

College curriculum + AP

College Catalogues + Reading Triage + Leaderless

àMay 9 to 12 M-F

College curriculum presentations + AP

Fri May 13 College Transition Workshop

May 16 Mon. Last Class meeting

May 17-18 Senior Final Exams

Post your essay main idea on Corkboard

bit.ly/gurNQk Click here to go to Corkboard.me

or you can click on this: http://corkboard.me/Ug3HE1hku7

Click on the corkboard and on the yellow post it note write the main idea of your essay.

Checklist for March 13 Essay on Conformity

CHECKLIST for Conformity ESSAY

Use this checklist in class and at home March 3-6, then March 7-9, and on the long 4-da6 weekend March 10-13. If you have one, bring a laptop to class Monday, Tue., Wed. next week.

1.      [ ] Brainstorm an idea about conformity that interests you.

a.       Remember: for a college essay, 30% of your effort might be taken up by finding your texts, ideas, main point, and then narrowing your topic. Start early.

b.      Define conformity. Is it always a negative? Are there different types?

c.       Examine education’s role in getting students to conform.

2.      [ ] Make a list of interview questions for a grandparent or other person of that generation about pressures to conform when he or she was your age.

3.      [ ] Figure out how you will use Kafka’s Metamorphosis in your essay.

a.       Or you might be more interested in the graphic novels or Conrad or another work we’ve studied.

b.      How can you use Kafka to illustrate your own point about conformity?

4.      [ ] Which other texts might you use? Freud (repression of the id, Interpretation of Dreams, Civilization and its Discontents), Genesis (Bible), Darwin (Origin of Species), Conrad (Heart of Darkness), Hamlet, graphic novels (Crumb and Kuper), poems, Frederick Karl, Power in the Classroom, Paolo Freire, or Kafka’s letters.

5.      [ ] A clear, debatable point or claim

6.      [ ] Option: use the ‘it appears…however’ structure)

7.      [ ] Your own clear thinking about society’s pressure on the individual to conform

8.       [ ] by our last class meeting, blog about power in the classroom or conformity

9.      [ ] by Mon. March 7, blog your introductory paragraph

10.  [ ] In the conclusion, explore the pressure on you and your generation to conform (to peers, to college, to parents, to expectations

11.  [ ] carefully edited, mostly error-free, no fragments, typos, etc.

12.  [ ] Proper MLA parenthetical documentation, header, first-page info, and works cited page

13.  [ ] Option: use the ‘it appears…however’ structure)

14.  [ ] Have you said something interesting about conformity?

15.  [ ] By Sun. March 13, write a 3-5 page essay about pressure to conform using your generation, Kafka, and at least one other text.

16.  [ ] Works Cited should include Kafka, perhaps a Personal Interview, and any other works consulted, such as Freud, Darwin, Conrad, etc.